Discuss both views and give your opinion: student essay comparison..

In today’s post, I review another student essay (with their kind permission) and comment on the criteria, grammar, lexis, cohesion, and task achievement. I won’t comment too much here as it is all in the video, so check out the video below, and see the two essays and the structure we used beneath the video.

As always, any questions to kevin@prepareielts.com.

The structure…

Discuss both views essay structure

Introduction

Sentence 1: paraphrase question and /or state both views.

Sentence 2: thesis statement

Sentence 2: outline sentence

Main body paragraph 1

Sentence 1: state first viewpoint

Sentence 2: discuss/explain first viewpoint

Sentence 3: example to support your viewpoint

Sentence 4: conclusion/ extend example

Main body paragraph 2

Sentence 1: state second viewpoint

Sentence 2: discuss/explain second viewpoint

Sentence 3: example to support your viewpoint

Sentence 4: conclusion/extend example

Conclusion

Sentence 1: summarise/restate main ideas

Sentence 2: express opinion

The first essay…

Some parents think that childcare centres provide the best services for children of preschool age. Other working parents think that family members such as grandparents will be better carers for their kids. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is argued that childcare institutions render excellent and quality methods in building a child’s life while some think that close family members play a pivotal role in honing childrens development. In my opinion, I agree with the idea that expert in childs development is favourable rather than relying childs progress to relatives. This essay will first present the merits of family members in taking good care of pre-schoolers. Secondly, it will tackle the different approaches and strategies used by professionals in child development followed by a reasoned conclusion.

Parents nowadays engaged themselves in a full-time job and because of this, most of them tend to leave their children at home with their grandparents. This is a basically a trust and rapport issue due to the fact that working parents are more comfortable and at the same time they can attain optimum concentration at work without any second thoughts that their child might be harm or in danger. However, pre-schoolers who gained regular contact and frequent exposure to older people may prevent them from acquiring specific skills and abilities which are related to their developmental age. For instance, one of the well-known national magazines in my country posted a certain research result that 33% of children who spent most of their time dealing and mingling with their grandparents are less effective and slow in process of learning acquisition in any school activities due to limited communication and learning opportunities that these geriatrics offered.

On the other hand, child experts who work in childcare centres play a significant role in the process of children becoming…… These professionals are equipped with proper knowledge, skills and attitudes that could foster and enhance a childs progress and development. The application of different approaches and methodologies such as teaching them the gross motor skills, critical thinking and logical dimensions of every subject are vital and appropriate in their developmental milestone. In addition, the delivery of care and ideas to these young individuals are guided by its theoretical and practical applications thus making them more effective and efficient citizen in the near future. One prime example is my nephew who constantly performed well in their classroom despite the fact that her parents are fully employed. This achievement was possible with the advent of her personal tutor.

In conclusion, although there are alarming issues about childs safety and security, the progress and development of children are more prominent and evident if they are cared institutions that could help them foster their abilities and widen their horizon.

Comparison essay…

Some parents think that childcare centres provide the best services for children of preschool age. Other working parents think that family members such as grandparents will be better carers for their kids. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is believed by some working parents that the best way to care for preschool children is to take them to childcare centres, while others argue that the child’s relatives, especially grandparents, would be better carers. This essay believes that professional carers are the best option for taking care of young children, and will discuss both views before coming to a reasoned conclusion.

The merits of attending childcare centres are twofold, firstly, if children attend such a centre they will be under the supervision of well trained professionals who have experience in taking care of such young children. Also, at the centre the youngsters will be in the company of other children and can make friends and learn and play in a social atmosphere. For example, all carers and care assistants in the UK have to pass rigorous screening and training programmes in subjects such as first-aid, and teaching and child psychology. This training is designed to create a safe and protective environment for the children.

However, some parents think that relatives rather than strangers are the best people to trust their children with. They say that the bond of a grandchild and grandparent is a natural and loving one that no stranger can replicate. For example, research by the University of Manchester in 2015 suggests that a child who is cared for by family members is 80% less likely to have anxiety related issues at primary school in later years. This would suggest that a safe and familiar family environment is of prime importance in a child’s psychology.

In conclusion, although both views have merit, it could be argued that the twin advantages of being watched over by trained professionals and the obvious social benefits of learning and playing with other children are of more importance than the psychological comfort grandparents can provide.

 

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