New essay sample (1):…agree or disagree

sample-essay-agree-or-disagree

Hi, as I haven’t posted anything for a while I am going to share a sample essay I wrote for a student inquiry on Facebook. I was away the past week at an English camp, (I will tell more about this later), and didn’t have time to write anything. So to make it up, I have a few essays to share that you might like to use as models in your own writing.

The first is an agree or disagree question, about the topic of children spending too much time on electronic games, computers, etc…I won’t include the structure as I have reprinted it several times, so here you go, have a look, note the way the sentences link together, how the ideas work, and how the sentences develop the idea and move it along in each paragraph.

As always, any questions, you can write to em at kevin@prepareielts.com


Children today are too dependent on computers and electronic entertainment. It would be better for them to be outside playing sports and taking part in more traditional pastimes than spending all day indoors.

Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

It has been argued that children these days spend too much time indoors on electronic forms of entertainment and that it would be more beneficial for them to play sports and other games outside instead. I agree with this statement and will argue that, good exercise habits are formed in childhood, and that there is a possibility of health damage of too much exposure to electronic devices.

Firstly, it is generally accepted that good habits for health and fitness are usually formed when we are children. That is to say, a child who grows up playing outside and taking part in sports is more likely to carry this habit into adulthood than one who has not. A recent survey of 1,000 adults by the University of Singapore showed that adult obesity rates had a direct correlation with the activeness of the adult in childhood. This would suggest that in order to avoid obesity and related health problems as adults, we need to develop good practices when we are children.

Additionally, as children’s bodies are still growing, it could be argued that constant exposure to computer screens and electronic games could cause eye damage. Many hours staring at a screen can cause adults to develop bad eyesight, so this must surely be a possible hazard for children too. Recent research by the UK medical council (GMC) showed that the danger of developing myopia and astigmatism in children is 50% higher if more than four hours a day is spent looking into a screen. If children are inside all day long then this danger must be greatly magnified.

In conclusion, there is a commonly accepted notion that children need to be outside and active instead of being inside and sedentary. I believe that this is true for reasons of health for the children as they become adults, to avoid obesity, and eye problems in the future.

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